Toxic Tuesday: Tasers and Tea

What did I do when I found out my daughter had something ‘weird’ happen to her? First, I gathered details and talked to a witness about the weirdness. Second, I called the police. This was not the comfort I had hoped for; in fact, I understood the ‘weird’ may or may not have been part of a planned attempted abduction. Third, I informed the college campus security of my concerns and then I went to my friend Kim’s house to discuss Tasers over a cup of hot tea.

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I’m a mom. A mom who is wildly; crazy in love with my children. I have spent my motherhood years protecting, teaching and nurturing my children. It has been a long and difficult road full of bumps, broken bridges and over the cliff falls; a few of which I was not able to protect them from. Life is hard!

I know I cannot protect my children from all the evil in this world but I can pray to the One who is able. So I along with my husband, sons, parents, sister and her family; as well as, friends are covering this in prayer. Since God has set the precedence that a spoken word can be more powerful than a word thought or read, I am praying scripture out loud over this situation. Please join me! I have included scripture at the end of this post.

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I confess I have lost sleep over this but it has not been unproductive lost sleep! What else is a mom to do when faced with possible danger; or at least a question I would like to have answered? I mean, besides driving her college age daughter nuts with concern?

My brain has been churning with questions and answers.

Why do men do this? Answer: SIN! Pornography addiction and/or extreme mental illness.

What type of victim are they looking for?

What do they want to avoid?

What can children, young adults and women do who find themselves in an attempted abduction?

Better yet, how can they avoid being the target of abduction?

I will begin with the last question first.

How can children, young adults and women avoid being the target of abduction?

I recently attended a community education class on public safety at my church led by, Officer Melissa Doss, of the St. Peters Police Department. She had a valuable power packed presentation. Here are a few tips she gave:

Make it a habit to look people in the eyes when you are in public and to notice the type and color of clothing they are wearing. Would be criminals do not want someone who can identify them.

Do not dig in your purse for keys, a cell phone or anything else while you are walking to your car. This shows you are distracted and that your hands are not free to defend yourself. Have your keys in your hand before you are walking to your vehicle.

Do not text or talk on your cell phone while walking to your car. Again, this shows you are distracted and that your hands are not free to defend yourself. (There have been instances in the news where teen and college age girls were abducted while talking on their cellphones.)

If someone approaches you in a parking lot, on the street or in the store you do not have to reply to them. We believe we need to be polite; not rude, but this does not apply here. Be rude! They can find help from a man, the store’s customer service desk, or they can call the police. Do not turn around to look at them, do not stop walking and do not answer them. You are not being rude or un-Christlike. You are being safe!

Do not have iPod or MP3 ear buds in your ears. This shows your thoughts are elsewhere, you are distracted, and you cannot hear everything around you.  You also should not drive with ear buds in your ears.

Always walk with your keys held in your hand as a stabbing weapon. Use the keys for stabbing in the eyes and face.

Park in a well-lit place.

Park your car away from other cars so no one can block the view to your vehicle; thus keeping the public from seeing the abduction.

If you think someone in a store is watching you or following you; go to the Courtesy/Customer Service desk and request to be escorted to your car. Any store will provide this for their customers.

If you are alone at work after hours or on the weekend and see  a car with a driver in the parking lot as you are leaving; stay inside the building and call the police. They will gladly come to your place of employment and see you safely to your car.

When I spoke to the local Sheriff’s department about my daughter’s situation these were some of their instructions for her: Pay close attention to other drivers while driving. If you think you are being followed, keep driving and call 911 to report your location. Do not pull over and do not go into a building or store. Stay in the car and wait for the police to find you/catch up with you. They will pull over the car behind you for questioning.

I must remind you that many abductions and molestations are committed by someone the individual or the family knows so teaching Stranger Danger to our children is not a sure answer to the problem.

Our family is password protected. If a friend or extended family member should need to pick one of my children up from an event or appointment because I asked them to do so; they will have to tell my children the secret password for my children to safely go with them. I also taught my children at a young age to look for a mommy with children and ask her for help if they are lost or if they are being led out of a store by a stranger.

Additional helps in an attempted abduction:

Always have a weapon with you: Mace (pepper spray), a Taser, a stun gun, a knife, and/or a key in your hand for jabbing in an attacker’s eyes or face.

Missouri is a conceal and carry permit state. Those age 21 and older with skills and who have attended and passed a gun safety class can keep a concealed gun with them.

I am going to add a whistle to my keychain. They are loud and will draw attention if you need it. If you have an older car without an alarm system, or a panic button, a whistle could be blown if you think someone is following you to your car. People will look to see who is blowing a whistle; you! I think this would make an abductor look elsewhere for a victim.

Always check the back seat of your car and the back end of your van before getting in; even if you had the doors locked while away from the vehicle.

I walk quickly when walking to and from my vehicle. I hope it looks like I’m in a hurry to get somewhere or to keep an appointment. Let an abductor believe someone is expecting me; therefore, I will be missed if I don’t get to where I am going.

In one of the recent attempted abductions there was a man standing by the young woman’s car. If you see someone standing by your car or hear a stranger talking to you; don’t hesitate, turn and run back into the store and ask for an escort to your car and/or call the police.

Keep your doors locked and your widows up while driving.

If you get a flat tire in a dark or seemingly dangerous place I would slowly drive on the flat tire to a public place. I would rather damage my car than risk my life.

I keep the local police phone number programmed in my cell phone; as well as, a local towing company. I should never have to walk anywhere or accept help from a stranger.

Here is a plan that I have gone over in my mind several times. If you are abducted and forced to drive the car, find an object into which you can crash the car—preferably at a lower rate of speed. An emergency room visit it far better than what the abductor has in store for you.

There have been abducted and bound victims who have kicked the back lights out of the trunks and poked a foot or hand through the opening for passing vehicles to see. If bound and in the back seat or on the floorboard, kick at the windows for a passing vehicle to see your feet.

If you cannot outrun your attacker and there is no one in sight run around your vehicle if you can. Putting something between the two of you as he pursues you may frustrate him causing him to give up, or give you more time to be seen by someone else.

Most abductions of women and children in the U.S. are sexually motivated and once the abductor has you in their vehicle the chances of being found or found alive are slim. Yell for help. Resist. Try to escape. You DO NOT want to be physically taken from where you are. Be loud, run and don’t look back until you have reached safety.

The goal is not to have a witness to the crime but to receive help with the crime. Reacting in the moment is much easier said than done so having a well thought plan is important.

I am going to use the example of the boy referenced in the below  news clip: http://fox2now.com/2014/03/18/another-attempted-child-abduction-reported-in-st-ann/

He did the right things by ignoring the car, continuing to walk away and then running. But I think another element to teach our children is to yell loudly. Attackers do not want to be heard, seen or identified so, you,  be heard and, you, help them to be seen and identified. A victim in this situation could yell any of the following as they run, “I don’t know them!” “I am being chased by a red car with two men it.”  “I’m being kidnapped!” “A man with short dark hair is trying to take me.” “A man with brown hair is chasing me.” “That man has a gun!” “I don’t know him.”  “A man with a green coat is chasing me. “ These types of responses will need to be practiced in advance so a child is resolved to respond accordingly if abduction is ever attempted.

If you are being abducted in a crowd, grab a hold of a person or object (a pole, a chair, a fence, a bike) while yelling statements like those above. This will draw too much attention and require the abductor to think twice about messing with you.

Kidnappers and rapists are looking for easy targets. Be difficult and fight until you have no fight left in you. They don’t want someone who will struggle with them—so keep fighting. (These guidelines are not necessarily the same when traveling in a foreign country. I am applying this to my country/society.) They also don’t want someone with a weapon. If your weapon is in your purse it is useless because they will most likely take control of your hands and arms before you can reach for the weapon. The weapon needs to be in your hand or on your key chain which is in your hand.

If your car is hit from behind keep your doors locked and your window up. Call the police and wait for them to arrive.

 This is not a conclusive list. If you have another safety tip to add you are welcome to do so in the comment section.

 Resources:

http://www.corneredcat.com/contents/ Written by a homeschool mom. A Woman’s Guide to Concealed Carry: She doesn’t go around threatening to maul people. She’s cuddly, she’s cozy, she likes to curl up next to a crackling fire on a cold winter’s day. She’s great company. But don’t try to trap her in a bad situation.

http://www.taser.com/products/self-defense-products Tasers and Stun Guns: Best products on the market.

http://www.homeselfdefenseproducts.com/product/TASER39056 Tasers, Stun Guns, Mace, Pepper Spray and other safety products.

Please join me in praying…

Take the helmet of salvation and the sword of the Spirit, which is the word of God.

¹⁸ And pray in the Spirit on all occasions with all kinds of prayers and requests. With this in mind, be alert and always keep on praying for all the Lord’s people. Ephesians 6:17

For the word of God is alive and active. Sharper than any double-edged sword, it penetrates even to dividing soul and spirit, joints and marrow; it judges the thoughts and attitudes of the heart. Hebrews 4:12

Every conversation with God has limitless possibilities attached to it because, “He is able to do immeasurably more than all we ask or imagine, according to his power that is at work within us.” Ephesians 3:20

The weapons we fight with are not the weapons of the world. On the contrary, they have divine power to demolish strongholds. We demolish arguments and every pretension that sets itself up against the knowledge of God, and we take captive every thought to make it obedient to Christ. II Corinthians 10:4-5

but I come against you in the name of the Lord Almighty, the God of the armies of Israel, whom you have defied. I Samuel 17:45b

Yet the Lord longs to be gracious to you;
therefore he will rise up to show you compassion.
For the Lord is a God of justice.
Blessed are all who wait for him! Isaiah 30:18

for the joy of the Lord is my strength. Nehemiah 8:10b

¹ Hasten, O God, to save me;
come quickly, Lord, to help me.

² May those who want to take my life
be put to shame and confusion;
may all who desire my ruin
be turned back in disgrace.
³ May those who say to me, “Aha! Aha!”
turn back because of their shame.
⁴ But may all who seek you
rejoice and be glad in you;
may those who long for your saving help always say,
“The Lord is great!”

⁵ But as for me, I am poor and needy;
come quickly to me, O God.
You are my help and my deliverer;
Lord, do not delay. Psalm 70: 1-5

²⁷ Those who are far from you will perish;
you destroy all who are unfaithful to you.
²⁸ But as for me, it is good to be near God.
I have made the Sovereign Lord my refuge;
I will tell of all your deeds. Psalm 73: 27-28

“Out My House”