Listen…to her visible heart

This is a series of writings from women living in difficult, disappointing, or destructive marriages…or leaving destructive marriages/relationships. When women are physically abused the harm is often visible, but what about verbal and emotional abuse? The injury is internal…on the heart, soul, mind and strength. You may never guess her husband rages in a different way but the family knows. Her body knows and it often manifests in depression, anxiety, and/or auto-immune diseases. Allow me to show you the inner cries of these women’s hearts.

These are all true accounts from women I personally know.

Allow me to introduce you to educated, works in the non-profit sector, volunteers in her community, attends church and a women’s Bible study, has a small home-based business and all this while she homeschools her children. She has been emotionally traumatized by her husband, shunned by her family and his family when she finally told what was going on in her home, and chastised by her church for telling the leadership about her marital problems.

Several Christian counselors listen, understand and agree there are major problems but their patriarchal background leads them to encourage her to pray, wait on the Lord, and never say a disagreeing word to her husband.

Ellie has recently found excellent Christ-centered counselors who are giving her hope, validation, and practical application for setting boundaries to protect the safety and peace of her home. They have gently led her away from the hold of the false patriarchal teaching that keeps women and daughters living as objects instead of humans with worth and needs, and who should be regarded as precious treasure.

“She is more precious than rubies; nothing you desire can compare with her.”  Proverbs 3:15 (NIV)

_ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _ _hills and valleys 2


Heavenly Father,


I never want less of you.

I’ve found that the mountain top experiences,

The power, the deep relationship,

Hearing Your voice 

Come when I’m walking, sometimes crawling through the valleys.


For me, an ordinary life does not equate to extraordinary Relationship

But I’m tired, weary, under attack on all sides and I obtain no relief from my tormentors.

Those who I need love from most are not capable of reciprocating. 

It’s painful to love but not be loved. 


Thank you for Your sustaining love. 

You are love.

May I show the Invisible visible to a watching world.         

You are the only answer to why I am still whole.

Give me more of You; Your power, Your ways, Your purpose.

I love You, I trust you, I need You…

I want You.


Always Yours,

Your daughter




Published by Carolyn Deevers's my spiritual superpower for surviving crises and complicated relationships. Here is where I share stories...or at least the ones I can tell you about. ;-)

2 thoughts on “Listen…to her visible heart

  1. March 16, 2018

    Hi Carolyn
    I am a born again Christian of 25 years and a Social Worker for the past 30. I have worked in many fields of Social Services, and marriage counselling, looking back, was probably my favorite.
    I appreciate and agree with much of your “perspectives-take-on” (ie) healthy relationships / you should not tolerate abuse etc, and have read many of your article (especially concerning Lisa TerKeursts … but I am wondering if you have ever actually spoken to Art himself, to get his side of the story ?
    That being said, I am not saying that what she has shared is not true, it probably all is … I am just concerned about your highly one sided approach.
    Thank-you, waiting for your response !
    Have a Good Weekend ~
    Tara 🙂 <

    1. Thank you for your question and you’re correct; my article on Lysa is highly one sided. I did not speak with Art. I took Lysa’s side as truthful and I should have pointed that out to my readers. Perhaps in the future I’ll leave room for the other party to contact me if they want to counter. So far, when I have sought clarification from a second party (unfaithful spouse) for my articles I haven’t received a response.

      I wish I had your credentials! I’m sure I could learn much from you. At this point I can only share, and offer commentary, from experience while including Bible references. Thank you for stopping by my blog. 🙂 ~Carolyn

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